September 11

Kacy is six, going on seven (really, going on 13 with some of her behaviors) and is getting to that age where the questions come up. Where do babies come from? Isn't the Easter Bunny just a guy wearing a costume? Who will I marry when I grow up?

It can be like living with The Riddler.

But yesterday we came face to face with the realization that we are not going to be able to keep her so innocent for much longer. Not just the baby/Santa/Tooth Fairy stuff...the real stuff. Like what happened on 9/11.

When the Sandy Hook tragedy occurred in December, we did all we could to shield her from the news, and from hearing us and other adults speak about it. We could not control what was said at school, and just crossed my fingers our plan to keep what evil exists in this world out of her viewpoint, at least for a little longer, would work.

It seems to have.

And then Kacy came home yesterday and declared that she needed to wear red, white and blue to school today. Without any prompting, she proceeded to tell us (like it was news) that 12 years ago, bad guys flew planes into buildings in NYC, and that a lot of people died.

It was very matter of fact, and there were no follow up questions.

Dave and I wordlessly somehow agreed to just leave it at that. Why point out that a plane crashed into the Pentagon, as well as into a field in Pennsylvania? And then get into the whys....Because, how do you explain why? To a six year old?

It's been 12 years and I still can't see the why. I was fortunate not to know anyone directly who lost their life that day, but living outside NYC at the time, and knowing so many people from my hometown of Stamford never came home that day, and that their families would never be the same, has always resonated with me. For a time many cars of the commuters who never returned sat unclaimed at the train station. It was eerie.

I realized today that 12 years from now, Kacy will be a 18. Making her way in the world. Hopefully not drinking too much Natty Light at college. So to think that 12 years ago, which seems like yesterday, was 9/11/01, and that in the same span of time, Kacy will be grown and in college, was a bit of a mindblower.

In the coming years we will get into the whys, and try to dissect what happened, and what has happened in the world as a result. Her innocence is still there, if only in part. We'll enjoy it while we can. And always think about those lost on 9/11, and in the ensuing wars and missions that followed.